If you want to care for your child together with your partner (who is not the child’s parent) and share the responsibility, you can apply for joint parental authority. However, you must meet several requirements. 

If the child has one parent, the following conditions apply: 

• You are the parent and have sole parental authority. 
• Your partner already cares for the child. Your partner and your child have a close personal relationship. The child must be able to grow up in a safe environment. 

If the child has two parents, the following additional conditions apply: 

Submitting a petition 

To start the procedure, you must apply to the district court for parental authority. This is called a petition (verzoekschrift). You are the petitioner (verzoeker) in these proceedings. You must appoint a lawyer for this procedure. 

Parental authority petition 

In the petition, you must explain why you want parental authority over the child. Your lawyer will prepare the petition, determine which additional documents need to be submitted, and then submit the petition to the district court. 

Informing relevant parties 

The court will determine who the relevant parties to the proceedings are. The court will inform the relevant parties of the petition for joint or sole parental authority.

When a petition for joint or sole parental authority is submitted, the other parent and/or other relevant parties will be given the opportunity to respond to the petition. The district court will send a copy of the petition for joint or sole parental authority to the other relevant parties. If you have received a copy from the district court, you have three options: 

• you disagree with the petition (you oppose the petition); 
• you agree with the petition and will state this either through a reference statement or orally at the hearing; 
• you do not respond. 

You disagree with the petition 

Do you disagree with the petition for joint or sole custody? If so, you can respond in writing or orally (defence). 

Written defence 

In the statement of defence (verweerschrift), you should clearly state which parts of the petition you disagree with and why. Your lawyer will draw up the statement of defence and submit it to the district court. You have until the hearing to lodge the defence. 

Oral defence 

You can also opt for a purely oral defence during the hearing. You do not need a lawyer for this. 

Waiving of defence with a reference statement 

Are you not going to oppose the petition? Then you can inform the court of your decision through a reference statement (referteverklaring). If you do so, you will leave the decision to the court. You should state that you have received a copy of the petition, will not lodge a defence, and do not consider a court hearing to be necessary. You must appoint a lawyer to make a reference statement. 

No response 

What happens if you do not respond at all? The district court will summon you to the hearing. You will receive the summons at your home address. If you do not attend the hearing, the judge will handle the petition without your input. After a few weeks, you will be sent the judge’s decision on the petition for joint or sole parental authority.

Approximately 6 weeks before the hearing, the judge will call on all relevant parties to attend the hearing. You will be informed of where and when the hearing will be held. During the hearing, you will have the opportunity to put across your point of view orally. 

Private hearing 

Parental authority petition hearings are not public. The district court will determine who may attend. The district court sometimes requests a representative of the Raad voor de Kinderbescherming (Child Care and Protection Board) to attend the hearing as an advisor. 

Interview with minor child 

The district court requests children aged 12 to 18 by letter to attend an interview (in Dutch). This interview lasts about 10 minutes. Parents are not allowed to attend. During the interview, the judge will ask for the child’s opinion. Children do not have to attend this interview and may send a letter instead.

About 4 weeks after the hearing, the judge will issue the ruling in writing. You will receive the decision through your lawyer. Do you, as a defendant, not have a lawyer because you only responded orally? If so, you will receive the order at your home address. 

Do you disagree? Then you can appeal

If you disagree with the court’s decision, you can lodge an appeal within 3 months. Find out more about appeals in family cases (in Dutch).